Untitled (You Won't Get Any More Details in a Bracketed Subtitle)

Disclaimer: This is going to be a rant.

I have a headache. I've been having lots of those lately. I suspect existential qualms are at the root of these symptoms.

It's been a month and two days since I "launched" this blog and I still haven't written a single entry. So what's the holdup?

Aside: You're probably thinking I shouldn't have a blog if there isn't even a single post to show for after a month of "starting" a new blog...

To that I admit, I'm not a full-time writer but to the same effect, I'm also not a full-time anything, which is the topic of this particular piece of writing.

Backtrack. After a year of employment at an art gallery, I decided to hit the eject button and quit. That was the best decision I've made all year. No doubt about it. OK, but it also happens to be the most nerve-wracking decision I've made since I decided to drop out of ComSci to pursue a degree in visual art.

At the time I was simply following a passion (one of many), and ignoring the What are you going to do for a living? question. Not knowing where my career choices were taking me was part of the allure of pursuing an arts education.

Today that very same questions has a very different internal resonance. All of a sudden, quitting my job and not knowing where my career is heading is very troubling. So what's changed? The problem is I'm being pulled in lots of different directions and haven't been able to dedicate my time to a single interest. Ultimately, I know that I'm incapable of focusing on just the ONE thing. My brain wanders and needs to occupy itself with a variety of interests that have enough light spectrum to produce rainbows in at least 6 to 16-bit depth detail. The fact that I have so many interests is a good thing. Otherwise, I would simply get bored.

So what are these interests? (You might ask). They germinate from a unique interest in data and information mixed with a fascination with social constructs (examined mostly extraneously). This is what lead me to focus on math during high school, apply to a computer science degree and, eventually, end up with a visual art practice focused on new media and interactive installations. Precision and routines are somewhat of a comfort for me, which is why I've also landed a barista job at a specialty coffee shop known for their highest standards of third wave artisanal coffee.

I'm an introverted geek at heart, with streaks of extroversion.

img source: adamsultanov.com